Making A Pointe

Loretta Modelevsky



MAKING A POINTE
Terri Marie
© 2005
Upon entering Heritage Pointe, there is a tribute to Loretta Modelevsky, which says, For having a dream and turning that dream into reality

You may recognize the name “Modelevsky.” A few months ago I did an article on Herb called “Herbie’s A Clown.” As I begin the first “real” column on “Heroes, ” I thought Herb’s wife, Loretta would be a great choice.
Not only are they a couple dedicated to giving their best to the community, they help and support one another. Sounds heroic to me.

“What were we going to do to leave a better world?” was the question on Loretta’s mind, when Loretta and her friend. Meryl Schrimmer, first came up with their big dream. It was to fill a need, an empty hole in the retirement home sector.
There was no home for the aged to serve the growing Jewish population.

Both ladies had parents who had strokes. They already had a wonderful friendship. “We can finish each other’s sentences. The areas I’m weak in,
she’s strong and vice versa, said Loretta.” Those traits proved valuable
for the workload ahead.

The Dream
“Our first vision was, if you’re going to dream, dream big.”
Loretta and Meryls’s original dream was to have a campus with a nursery school attached so that the young could interact with elders. “That dream's still our dream.”

But they didn’t wait. They went to work, established chapters, raised money,
created a nonprofit corporation, undertook a feasibility study and looked for
the location. “I didn’t think it would ever happen but this building came up,” Loretta said. Then the miracles started.

The Dream is Realized
“Everything that happened was a sign to go ahead,” said Loretta. They learned
that the Avon Company was going out of the retirement housing business and had a building in Mission Viejo. “It was a brand new building, already furnished.
It was like a dream come true, on 5 ½ acres, very close to the freeway, medical facilities, shopping, entertainment, all the things that we would need.”
They got the building.

Choosing the Baby’s Name.
They wanted the home’s name to be descriptive, easy to spell and understand.
“It’s part of our heritage to help the elderly and that was our ‘point.’
Thus the name Heritage Pointe. It took nine months to come up with that name, as long as it takes to have a child,” she said. They opened their doors to seven residents. “It was like a little family,” Loretta said.
More residents followed very quickly.

Getting an enormous project like this off the ground took immense resources of
time and money. Loretta is very proud that all the money was raised by the people within the Jewish community. No outside funds were solicited.

Loretta and Meryl divided up the huge geographic community of Orange County, went from home to home, had coffees and talked about their dream. “We showed a video of a retirement home and said this is what we’d like to do in the future, never dreaming that in our lifetime it would happen. We were so lucky. The building was a God-given gift,” she said.

Their charter sponsors initiated the seed money. “You don’t just wake up one
morning and say, ‘Wow. I think we’re going to have this home and it’s going to be needed.’ You have to do a study like all businesses do and see if there’s a need.” The day before escrow closed they asked eight very generous people to guarantee a loan, and the doors to her dream opened. Loretta became a Co-Founder of Heritage Pointe with Meryl.

Loretta takes her responsibilities very seriously, “We have a fiduciary responsibility to the community,” she says. They now have seven support chapters from Fullerton to San Clemente and chapter’s events are going on all the time.

She is especially proud of their scholarship program, funded to the tune of
$800,000 a year. This helps a certain percentage of residents who could not otherwise afford to live there. “We make sure that the little lady who might have been in a motel someplace has a wonderful place to be now,” she says. “Nobody is identified as a scholarship resident because we want to keep their dignity intact.”

Another program is the Intergeneration Program. Teenage kids ready for their bar mitzvahs or bat mitzvahs come in at the age of 12. “Mitzvah” means good deed.
“Many of them have selected the home to be with ‘grandmas and grandpas.’
Some of these kids don’t have any grandparents.” Loretta says.

The volunteer sector is the lifeblood of Heritage Pointe. “It is absolutely
amazing what they do for us. At any given time we have 75-100 volunteers.”
They come one way only, by word of mouth. “I never advertise for volunteers,”
she says and feels it is very important to have people do what they get
satisfaction from.

Loretta personally interviews each volunteer and asks a few key questions.
"What do you do for fun? What did you do in your work?”

The volunteers range in age from as young as 7 to 90. “We had one little
7 year- old come in and want to dance. She put on her tap shoes and went
out on the patio and danced for them Oh, they love the kids!”

“I encourage people to volunteer because every one of my volunteers has said
they’ve gotten more out of it than they have given. If you want to meet amazing people in this world, volunteer. “Without volunteers I think this world would
be a totally different place,” Loretta says.

Loretta speaks fondly of the couples who come in together and help each other.
“What a beautiful thing to see people that have been married 60 years still
walking hand in hand!” She has a deep respect for the residents and feels they
are tremendous survivors. “Many came to this country not speaking English. They didn’t have things printed out for them in their language. They learned the language. They made sure that their kids were well educated.

Some lived through the holocaust,” she said. “Many residents are in their high 90’s. We have one lady who’s 100. These are not bed-ridden people, maybe a little weakened, but our residents are mentally alert and still want to learn. We’re home now to just under 200 residents.”

Loretta matched a 100-year-old woman who was a nurse for 40 years with a little who wanted to become a doctor, through their “Adopt a Grand Friend program.” “We don’t call them grandparents. We call them grandfriends. The friendship continued for 10 years. It was so beautiful that somebody her age could relate to a child much younger than she was.

Friendships have formed that never, ever would have happened if not for their involvement in building something together. The community makes the place more alive.”

A 12-year-old boy told Loretta that he wanted to make a cookbook. She gathered together some of the ladies that like to cook and matched one lady with this little boy. They cooked meatballs, brownies, and cookies together once a week on Sundays. The boy is now in high school and has become part of her family. He has written about how volunteering with her has touched his life.

The residents love the business center with 8 computers and volunteers to teach them. “Sometimes it takes them a little longer to learn but I don’t think the
center is ever empty. The computer opens up a whole world to people. They’re not alone in their last years.” Loretta says.

One of the residents returned to the home after being hospitalized and said, “It’s so wonderful to be home again.” Loretta is pleased that they think of Heritage Pointe as their home.

When it first opened, Heritage Pointe had no synagogue. Today you walk into a beautiful synagogue. “It’s like a big hotel with a staff of 100. It’s a little
city. We wanted to serve the very active, the assisted and those who need more
care. We have found that the bulk of the people need that middle area, assistance.”

Heritage Pointe has become Loretta’s extended family. She spends a minimum of two full days a week there, often more. The other days she is networking and attending other meetings that her history with the home might help with. “I’m always reading to find an interesting article that I think can enhance the home. It’s been a wonderful learning experience.”

Loretta and Herb understand the needs of each other because they both volunteer. They are each proud of what the other is doing in life. When she started the home Loretta had to be away a lot. Herb gave her the encouragement she needed. “I think that’s what every married couple has to do when they are doing things to serve outside their own home. Herb has given me the time to grow and do this job that has escalated beyond my wildest dreams.

I think we both are healers. Herb’s healing is done in his way and mine is done in my way. The way Herb heals is by teaching. Laughter is a healing thing. How I heal is to enrich programs and bring meaning into the lives of people who maybe are not as sure of themselves as they used to be. And to make them feel that whatever they have is worth sharing.

The fastest growing segment of our population is the people over 65 now. The
elderly should be learning and involved the same way as young people are.
People who never knew they could paint, when they take a painting class, find
that all of a sudden they are talented in art, ” she smiles.

If you read the article on Herb, you’ll remember that it was Loretta who gave
Herb the clown party and the certificate for clown school that spurred his dream of cheering up children who were ill. Loretta says of that famous party. “Herb’s always loved clowns. Being a clown makes you a different person, able to do things out of your own character. I saw the retirement years were coming up and I felt he’d have more time.”

Herb had three special patients, a set of premature triplets. Their parents were clowns with a last name of Graham. They named their triplets, Candy, Millie and Holly Graham. “It was so cute,” Loretta says. “They were in little drawers because they were so tiny. Herb didn’t want them to come to the office because he was afraid they’d pick something up and get sick, so every week he took his nurse, the scale and went to their home.

He got to know these clowns every well.” Loretta did research on where Herb could study to be a clown. When the idea for the party came up she thought, “Should I bother people to dress up as clowns, but I took the chance.” Good thing. She’s taken many chances.

While Herb’s character changed from doctor to clown, Loretta stays in one character, focused with a strong business sense. “If I’m going to do something I set a plan and don’t rest until it’s done. Herb was like that in medicine. He was a marvelous physician.

My mother always said, ‘If one and one don’t add up to two, it’s not right.’”
Herb and Loretta definitely add up to something special. While Herb cheers up the lives of those who recently made it into this world, Loretta works to add elegance to those who are the later part of their earthly journey.

What you see beyond the walkers and the gray hair when you enter Heritage Pointe is the smiles. Smiles coming at you, smiles going past. “I think loneliness is the ultimate poverty,” Loretta says. “I never dreamed it would be such a wonderful place for people to grow and enjoy,” she says.

Busy with the “baby” she’s been raising for 15 years, Loretta reached her goal of creating a wonderful “Heritage” and her “Pointe” has been well received. Loretta serves to give elders within the Jewish community a better place to live, opportunities for enriched and meaningful lives full of dignity and respect.
Loretta has a saying, “Those who step in front of you and do not want to go along with what you’re doing and are negative, tell them to get out of the way while you do it.”

Loretta’s Pointe’s For Following Your Dream

• It’s up to us to make the world a better place not just with a big project but with every project.
“It is our custom in Judaism to help the elderly.
That’s one of the most important things that we do,” she says.

• Decide what your goal is and don’t wait for everything to be perfect.
If Loretta and Meryl waited until they created the campus they envisioned,
they would not have been able to serve so many people in the meantime. “In a
perfect world, this is what we wanted to do, but you know the world isn’t exactly
perfect. Our job is to try to perfect it a little piece at a time. Not the whole
thing, just a piece at a time. This is our piece now.”

• Decide if you can handle the negatives that could come up. If you can, go ahead with your project.

• Surround yourself with people smarter than you are.
When Loretta and Meryl saw that they needed help, they called in a consultant.
“We didn’t try to make decisions that we didn’t know how to make,” says Loretta.

• Learn from them all.
“An elder has so much to give. We can learn so much from them. They’re, so
loving and caring. They are all like grandmas and grandpas to me.”

• Don’t expect to do it in a day,
“Chip away and do a little bit at a time. It took about 3 years before we had
our Board of Directors and raised part of the money.”

• There’s a lot of ways to help.
"People can write a check, help physically, help with their ideas.
You need all of those. For instance a retired optometrist adjusts their
eyeglasses because there’s a lot of low vision problems in the residents.”

• Never forget the basic thing...to thank people and make them feel that what they do counts.
“People don’t wake up in the morning and say,
'Gee. I don’t want to be thanked today.”

One of Loretta’s, favorite inspirational quotes sums up why she loves her work at Heritage Pointe.

Definition of an Elder
Author unknown

An Elder is a person who is still growing, still a learner, still with potential and whose life continues to have within it promise for, and connection to the future.

An Elder is still in pursuit of happiness, joy, and pleasure, and her or his birthright to these remains intact.

Moreover, an Elder is a person who deserves respect and honor and whose work it is to synthesize wisdom from long life experience and formulate this into a legacy for future generations.

And that’s a heritage with a beautiful point.


Terri Marie
“A hero is someone who helps someone in time of need.”
For past articles on "Heroes Among Us," to share your hero stories,
or to recommend a hero for a future article
Please visit heroesamongus.blogspot.com

Conversation with Hero, Candace Bowen

Candace Bowen

and Terri Marie






Conversation with Hero, Candace Bowen
VP Women in Film, Membership
by Terri Marie
© 2005


Candace Bowen has a refreshing, open charming style with a reputation for getting things done. As second in command in the most prestigious film and TV organization for women (and men) in the world, Candace has proven her ability to inspire, educate and provide enormous opportunities for those willing and ready to step up to the plate.

We had a great talk until Sundance, her dog, needed her more than I did.

HELPING OTHERS

Candace seems to have a life theme of giving. “I grew up a Baptist,” she said.
“I went to bible school where there were always stories that children could understand. I remember the story about someone crying because they had no shoes.
But then someone else had no feet. You have to know you’ve been fortunate. Some have less than you. It becomes not so much trying to be successful but helping those who are less fortunate.”
That decision to help others changed her destiny.

She learned early on how to cooperate with others.

“Growing up I played Double Dutch, Hop Scotch, jump rope and jacks, always played a lot of jacks. I still have them in a bowl. I also like the hula-hoop. Each time you did it you got better, that’s for sure. Coming from the inner city that’s all you did in the neighborhood. There was always something that was challenging, collaboration with a team, wanting to succeed.”

VOLUNTEER

Her first foray into volunteering did not earn Candace the respect or encouragement by her friends. Instead, they made fun of her. Thank goodness that didn’t stop her. “I remember my first volunteer job as a candy striper. I was working the special ward. When I was walking to the bus in my uniform my friends laughed at me, yelling, ‘How much are they paying you, Candace? How much are they paying you?’
They teased me about working and not getting paid.”
Luckily she had a sensible mother who said,
“Yes, but you are getting paid in such a big way.”

“It was true,” Candace said. “I had firemen who had been in accidents on the job and had broken their leg or their neck. I’d get there first thing in the morning, get them their mail and read them the paper.” She was an important element to their day. “They were so happy waiting for me to get there. I was needed. I wasn’t the nurse. I wasn’t the doctor, but I was doing things that were just as important. I lifted spirits.”

LESSONS IN THE KITCHEN

Another strong women influenced Candace, her grandma

“Grandma would be cooking and I’d ask her how she knew exactly how much to put in. She said, ‘You just know. A pidgin of this, a pinch of that.’ That’s how you do things in life. You try a pidgin of this or that until you get the flavor right.”

“My grandma couldn’twrite very easily. It was hard for her. So I wrote her letters for her. I answered the letters for her too. Then I started elaborating on those letters and that’s how I became a writer.”

This led to her become an award-winning Producer, In 1991, she produced the critically acclaimed play "Shakin' the Mess Outta Misery" at the West Coast Ensemble, which earned her not only the Dramalogue Award for best play, but two of the play's four NAACP theatre image awards that year. She is also a producer. Her company, Earlybird Productions created many projects dealing with minority and women's issues. Coming from an entertainment family, it was no surprise that she had roles in Starsky & Hutch, Different Strokes, Baretta, Escape from Alcatraz. Her mother was a singer and classical pianist and her brother, Jeffrey Bowen, a Producer at Motown Records

LESSONS AROUND THE DINING ROOM TABLE

Candace Has the Gift of Vision, Born of Gratefulness

It takes a visionary to see something that’s not there and bring it to life. She was always that visionary, able to see things. Perhaps she was influenced by the ministers who gathered around the family’s dinner table. “Children back then were seen and not heard. We were the listeners. If you did talk about something, you had everybody’s ear so it better be good. It was our Golden Rule. There were always so many people doing without, that you felt blessed to have what you have. What was on your plate, you ate. We were always thankful.”

YOU GET TESTED

Candace thinks we’re always being tested and doesn’t like it when people don’t practice what they preach. “When there’s no one out there to see, are you going to take that last dollar in your pocket or purse and give it to another? Some people will come right out of church and walk right past someone who needs help. They’ll look the other way.”


How did she get to be a leader in Women In Film?

“I wanted to do something for the organization. I came to a crossroads in my career. As I grew out of being an ingenue as an actress, I started to get offered roles as prostitues and the like. I asked myself, ‘Do I take the roles and swallow it, or take charge and have more control instead of waiting for an agent?’ An actor has to be a big optimist. If I was to tell the agent I was not going out for the role, I was going against grain. When I joined WIF, they said, ‘Hey it’s alright to tell the agent you’re not going to do that.’ I wanted to do something for this organization. They supported the best in me”

Partially relying on luck and her determination to give back, a vision came to her for the Malibu breakfast. “I put all these elements into it and it became a reality,” she said. “I remember when I started this breakfast and was trying to promote it. I’d go to Women in Film and give out flyers. They’d say, ‘Oh, you don’t expect me to drive all the way to Malibu?’ I’d say, ‘No. But I do expect Malibu to wake up.’”

IT TAKES OFF

“All of a sudden things start and you don’t know why. You’d been putting puzzle pieces together for so long and all of a sudden it clicks. It’s like playing tennis. The instructor gives you all these things to think about and you ask, ‘How do I learn all this?’ Then boom, all of a sudden you’ve got the rhythm. You’ve got to get your own rhythm. You don’t know exactly when you grasp it. It becomes part of the things that fit you. It becomes part of your wardrobe.”

Go ahead 15 years.

She’s on the board of the Malibu Chamber of Commerce. “Now we got it breakfasts all over the place. The Malibu breakfast has taken its rightful place in the community, along with local service clubs. It’s a great honor to be in that company, Rotary Clubs, Lions Clubs, the Chamber of Commerce, the Kiwanis and the Opimist Club of Malibu. We had the first networking mixer for all the service clubs of Malibu. It was called the Power Breakfast and we honored Sheriff Lee Baca. I’m like the Pied Piper, bringing people together.”

“I always knew I could get a job quicker than if I went to an unemployment line. We need to be self-starters. It’s not so much about me anymore. Candace was a Barbezon graduate. “I like the fact that what they do for women, making a difference. When you see that you know it does make a difference,” she said. Women in Film thinks along the same lines, offerring opportunities. They offer many scholarships to budding filmmakers.

ARTIST OF GRATITUDE

Reminiscent of her little friends who teased her, her husband once said, “But you’re not getting paid.” Candace replied, “When you give something, and get a ‘Thank you so much,’ then yes, it is working. It feels good to do this.”

KEEP ON GOING

Candace has an ability to go into a problem and come up with the answer. Listening paid off. She tells stories using her imagination. “As an independent producer it all comes from the creative mind. I remember being devastated when one thing didn’t work. Now I know to have a Plan B and when you have that, it can’t devastate you. When one person leaves, there are ten to follow. I’d think I’d have a sponsor, then right before signing the contract, I’d get a call, ‘I’m sorry, we just don’t have the staff etc, and can’t participate.’ I turn to the computer for a brand new sponsor right then and there. I put energy in and wait for the magic to happen and it does.”

THE LIFE CHANGING TRIP TO SOUTH AFRICA

“WIF sent me to South Africa to open a chapter there in 1998. I will never forget it. President Iris Grossman sent me as a representative from America. I attended the Crystal Awards and started the first networking breakfast down there in Johannesburg. People there have so much less than I do. I thought,
‘But by the grace of God, I could’ve been here.’ It was the luck of the draw.
So I’d dress down, take off my earrings. I didn’t want to be perceived as
the person who knew it all. They asked me, ‘Candace, you coming from the most wealthy country on the planet. You do something we don’t do. You volunteer.
Can you teach us?’”

Candace did teach them, launching the first annual Women in Film breakfast in Johannesburg, Africa. “Volunteers are the most powerful people on the planet. They change things. They do things you can’t pay people for. I got a letter thanking me so much for what I did. The voice of communication opens up and things are changing. That makes a difference.”

“They asked me ‘What were you doing down there?’ I took hope. It wasn’t on a piece of paper. It was nothing I wrote down. That’s my journey. That’s my mission. When they ask what is my mission statement - that’s it. I give people hope.”

Whether in South Africa or Malibu she brings people that message of hope.

When she asked herself “I wonder why was I put on this earth?” she searched and found what became her answer. Her advice is sound for someone wondering what to do in life. “In time of doubt, volunteer,” Candace says. “It will come to you. In a crowd, you’ll get an inspiration. Every idea is universal. It is put out there for everyone. Be the person who takes an idea and moves it to the finish line. Then you find out there’s an audience, people who care about the same things you care about. It’s a support group, instead of ‘There’s me. There’s me. There’s me.’ Focusing on others is a gift. When you come to a crossroads in life and say
“Is it easier for me to do something for myself or to do it for others,
draw the line. Choose to help others.”

WHO ARE HER HEROES?

“I always wonder what kind of person a fireman is. Everyone can’t be a fireman. My heroes are the little guys that don’t make the newspapers but make the deadlines, make a difference and are very unselfish. They get the job done and they do it for all the right reasons, because they care. Those are my heroes.”

HER LIFE LESSONS

• Do the right thing when it is presented to you.
“That is the most important thing. Then you get to a new chapter of life that has a new title on it,” she says.

• Don’t restrict yourself.
“We get detoured into ‘lala’ land and forget what’s really valuable. What do you really want to do? When they ask me that question, I say, ‘Does it have to be one thing?’”

• Do a few things that have your name on it.
“And do them very well.”

• It’s all about networking.
“That’s how we get connected in life.”

• Don't worry about who’s doing it.
“When I’m doing it, it’ll be totally different. from someone else. That’s OK.”

• Make a difference in one person’s life.
“That’s where it all is.”

• Show Up
“A person who listens, follows through, shows up, that’s the person who’s going to make it. They say, 90% is just showing up.”

• You listen.

Listen to the voice of a woman who has been extremely successful and loves her role of serving, both in the community of Malibu and the greater world of helping women who want to make a difference in the land of film and television. Go Candace!

Live like a hero,

Terri Marie
White Wing Entertainment
Herobookonline.com
Terri Marie write a monthly column called Heroes Among Us and would love you to share your hero story at Heroesamongus.blogspot.com

Be The Hero Of Your Own Game Wins Irwin Humanitarian award

Hello,

After a whirlwind of articles and speaking, I was very pleased to accept the Irwin Award in the Humanitarian category for 2005. The award was given by the Book Publicists of Southern California on Oct.5 in Studio City, CA.

That's me abovewith Dottie Walters who wrote "Speak and Grow Rich"

Thanks to all you heroes out there!

Live like a hero,

Terri Marie

Herbie The Clown

HEROES AMONG US

Start Clowning Around for Good
How Herb Modelevsky, M.D. turned into Herbie the Clown
by Terri Marie

I first met Herb at one of the San Clemente Toastmasters clubs.
He was the area governor. Nice, warm man. I knew he had
been a pediatrician for 35 years in Anaheim at the
Children Hospital and Martin Luther Hospital but I had
no idea that he was a clown until someone mentioned
his clown act and how that came about.

Go back to his 60th birthday. His wife Loretta gave him
a surprise party. Herb walked into a room filled with clowns
of every size and shape. His present was a certificate for
Under the Big Top, a clown school, to get his clown degree.
Eight weeks later, Herb the doctor transformed
into "Herbie the Clown."

Herb always loved clowns from the time his dad took him
to the circus where he could watch all the clowns.
"As a clown you can be in parades, you can go to charity
functions with children or the elderly, people of all ages.
You can be as silly as you want to be and no one cares
because you're except from all the ideas that society impinges
upon you about how to act nice. We're nice, but we're
goofy too." He admires the clown personae.
"Clowns give permission. They are a projection of yourself.
The person entering that figure of a clown is forgiving.
We can create an environment that is very meaningful.
You're laughing with the clown at your own inadequacies."

Herbie is an unusual clown because he is also an M.D.
Inspired by his hero, his uncle Aaron, a country doctor.
Herb went on the rounds with him in Arkansas.
"I just loved the way he handled people. We went moonlight
fishing and he'd tell me all about these things he was doing
and I said, 'I like that. I want to do that.'
That's where I got interested in medicine."

The doctor and the clown blend together very nicely,
especially visiting with the children who are ill.
"There are a lot of things in medicine that you could
consider heroic, like saving someone's life, but that's
a team affect. I think that's the key to anything you do in life,"
Herb says. Sometimes Herbie would entertain a young
patient at their birthday party. They would look over at
him and say, "That's my doctor! That clown is my doctor!"
Herb says, "You are theirs in that moment, completely
fixating on them. They are the center of your attention.
It makes them feel very important. There's an inner glow
that we look for." As a doctor, Herb understands the anxiety,
the fear, the pain, the uncertainty, and especially the
relevance of another person who cares, of someone willing
to take an afternoon and share it with them. "We hope
that the makeup and the costume and the magic that we
create allow them to enter that realm of fantasy. That's a
very comfortable place to be, especially when you're sick."

The meeting ground of clown and audience is acceptance
and understanding. When Herbie enters a new patient's room
he asks questions.
It's a wonderful example of how to treat children who are ill.

"Hi. "Can I come in?"
"Wow! You've got a great room!"
"Can I sit on your bed?"
"Can we roll a ball to each other?"
"Would you like to see my pictures that I brought?"
"Can you color? Would you help me color this picture?"
"Are you afraid of balloons? You're not? Great!
Can I make you a balloon animal?"

And there's no harm in saying, "I don't know."
"How did you do that?" I don't know?"
"Am I gonna get better?" I don't know, but I hope so."

Herbie is a friend. Through the gift of diversion, using stories,
magic and imaginary friends, Herbie creates the bond that
opens the door for potential healing. "A clown has to be a
wonderful listener. Being a sharer of an experience, changes
you every time," say Herb.

One of his most inspiring visits was walking through the
corridors of the hospital, on the way to the children's unit.
Herb and two other clowns passed through the adult
oncology unit and went by a door. Herb peeked inside.
The patient was semi-sleeping and the nurse said,
"You can't go in there. That patient's too sick." Herb said,
"Really?" As they were going to leave the doorway the
person in the bed opened their eyes, saw the clowns and
waved them inside. Herb fondly remembers, "We all three
went inside. We exchanged names and lo and behold,
this patient had been a clown with Barnum and Baily
Ringling Brothers, a real professional clown!
About an hour and a half later, we left that room.
She was feeling great. We were feeling wonderful.
I think we did more for her that day than the IV.
And I loved that patient.
I learned a lot from her and I hope she got some fun from us."

Does Herb know what it's like to be alone and isolated,
like those who are ill often are? He says, "One of the
loneliest occupations is to be a janitor. I know from
experience because when I was in college I was a janitor.
I found myself walking down hallways cleaning. No one
would stop and say 'Hello. How are you?' You're sort of
insignificant, like that speck of dirt that you're cleaning up,
so I've always made it a point when I see a janitor to say
'Hi. How are you doing?'"

Being a clown gave Herb a lesson he feels he could not have
learned in any other way - the permission to be different.
Herb looks to create in the children he visits an acceptance
of differences. "A person who looks different could be a
wonderful friend, could be a sharer of your life's experiences."
When he is with well children he gives them an episode
in their lives that they're not going to see anywhere else.
"Clowns in appearance and mannerisms are unique."

Of the three types of clowns, Herb is an Auguste
(pronounced "awe goost") clown, a middle of the road clown.
The "white clown" is the king of clowns. They never get
water in their face. They never step on a banana. They're
always doing that to someone else. But the white clown
can be frightening because of the stark white makeup.
Herb didn't see himself as the third type of clown either,
the "tramp clown," because he said that is not his character,
sad and despondent. Herb says the Auguste clown is not
frightening at all because he is very accepting,
wants to be happy and have fun.

"Clowns have a prism that they look through," Herb states.
"Using his eyes as a magic prism, the clown takes in reality,
filters out all the ill and menace, leaving kindness, tolerance
and goodness. I think that the most effective expression to
keep inside you is that you always lead with your heart.
There's no way that you can be a clown unless you lead with
that look that says 'I care about you.'"

And perhaps behind every great clown is a great wife.
Herb quotes Loretta, his wife, who is another of his heroes
because of all the volunteerism she does. "Those who step in
front of you and do not want to go along with what you're doing,
and are negative, tell them to get out of the way while you do it."
This doctor's advice. "Don't say, 'Oh, I wish I could be like that
person.' Just be the person you are.
And if you like a particular endeavor do it!"

What does Herbie the clown say when he's leaving the room.
"I never say goodbye. I never say so long.
What I say is "To be continued..."

What you can learn from Herbie

Be a friend. Use mutual admiration, praise, and acceptance.
Herbie feels no one should ever be without hope.

Be non-judgmental and accept differences. "Everyone that
a clown interacts with must be felt to be important. Someone
who is different could become a great friend," Herbie says.
"The children always want to know what's real on a clown.
'Is your nose real?' 'Do you really have feet that big?'"

Create a new reality. Use fantasy and magic. Every
experience with a clown is a fresh one. Herbie tells of a
time when he visited a girl named Mica. Mica means "twinkle"
so Herb said Mica, mica parva stella" which means "Twinkle,
twinkle little star." Herbie told Mica that when she went outside
with her mother and looked up in the sky, she would see that star
named after her and it would be the brightest star in the whole sky.

Be persistent. Herbie says, "If you don't laugh at the first
thing I do, I've gotta try something else. If that doesn't
make you laugh, I'm gonna try something else."
Like Herbie keep trying until you find something that works
to connect with people.

Be open to surprises. One of Herbs biggest delights in life
is being Herbie the Clown. That wouldn't have happened if
he had said. "Oh that's too silly! I'm too old or too young.
I don't have time." A surprise party opened the door to a whole
new way of life for Herb the doctor.

And my favorite:
Use the power of laughter. One of Herbie's favorite quotes,
"Laughter is a tranquilizer that has no ill effect,
so use a lot of it. We're all too serious."

So go out and start clowning around! Doctor's orders.

Terri Marie
Herobookonline.com
heroesamongus.blogspot.com