Monday, March 12, 2007

Song of Hope







Renee sings "When the Swallows Come Back"




Renée Bondi

Her story is as unforgettable as her voice. Her courage
immeasurable.

Renée Bondi, a successful choir director at San
Clemente High, had built up the program from 18 to
150 students. Her wedding was just two months away.
“I was doing what single people at 29 do - having lots of
time after work to play and be with friends and family,”
Renée said. That changed the night of May 16th, 1988
at 2:00 AM. No one knows exactly how it happened.

During the night, Renée fell out of bed, shattering her
spine. She eerily described this as a “wave of silence,”
with a whooshing sound that went down her body.

The morning after the injury, Renée’s eyes fell on her
pastor, Monsignor Martin. Renée whispered, ‘Am I
that bad?’ When a priest sees you in ICU, it’s usually
to give you last rites. He smiled and said,
‘When you do it, you certainly do it big.”

“I heard the surgeons’ words. I heard him define what
quadriplegia is. I knew my life wasn’t completely over
because I hadn’t died. It was hard to comprehend my
new life. You still think the same. Your mindset is the
same. How in the world can you be dancing one evening,
planning your wedding, and the next day told you’ll never
walk again, never have functional use of your hands?”

Renée called off her wedding. “Only because I didn’t think
it was fair to Mike at all. When he proposed I was
able-bodied and functioning. Now I was extremely
different from the person he proposed to.” A year later
Mike asked Renée, “When are we going to reschedule
the wedding?” That’s true love.

Renée is surrounded by heroes. “Every member of my family
has the ability to reach out and not be selfish. My siblings
don’t have a selfish bone in their bodies. I think it comes
from the WWII era, from my mom’s Basque background -
a culture of farming, music, and food.

As I often say, ‘Tragedy either brings a family closer together
or blows them apart.’ I think that’s how God uses tragedy -
to draw us closer to him. It’s real unfortunate when people
run away. They’re running from the very God who will help
them through their valley. If you don’t go through that valley,
you don’t know God the way you do after.”

“When my mom was asked after my injury, ‘How do you keep
going,’ she answered very clearly. ‘Do we have a choice?
What are you going to do? Sit in the corner of your house and
say ‘Woe is me when your kids need food on the table?’ We
would’ve never have chosen this. It’s not easy.
It’s definitely not fun. But what’s your option?”

Talking with Renée, she is so personable you can easily forget
that she has accomplished amazing things. A few of her awards
include: Best Contemporary Acoustic Songwriter. Woman of the
Year- California State Senate.

Renée’s book, “The Last Dance But Not the Last Song” is poignant,
bold and sparkled with humor. “It was really important to me that this
wasn’t a holocaust book. That’s just not me. There are times when
you have to laugh. And there were things that were funny. I remember
the physical therapist teaching my sister Michelle how to transfer
me from the wheelchair to the mat in the hospital. We landed in a
heap on the table, in a heap laughing. We had to laugh, otherwise
we were going to cry our eyes out.”

Renée and Mike made a thoughtful decision twelve years ago - to
have a child. Her son Daniel is now 11. What she most loves about
Daniel is,” How incredibly compassionate he is. He is very, very quick,
to see the good in people.”

Her first public performance after her accident was at San Clemente
Presbyterian Church. Concerned she didn’t have the lung capacity
to sing, Renée wanted her sisters to cover for her. But the pastor
wanted Renée there for another reason - to reassure her students,
saying, “They need to hear you and see you publicly.” “I thought it
was really insightful on his part. So I agreed. I did have a heart for
my students so he knew how to get to me. It felt very good to be
onstage again, especially in San Clemente because they’d been
so incredibly supportive.”

Today Renée speaks and travels nationally to share her story and
more importantly, “What I learned from being in this wheelchair.
After really analyzing what I’ve learned, ironically, it spelled CPR.
It stands for: Choices – Prayer –and Responsibility.”

You must read the miraculous story of Renée’s first meeting with
the pope in Denver. Renée spoke of, “All the little divine appointments
that happened to get me there - that was the presence of God.” Renée
saw the pope again in Toronto when she was the last performer before
Pope John came onstage. “Looking into his eyes is like looking into the
eyes of the ultimate grandpa. So much peace in his warm blue eyes.
So much compassion. When one truly and sincerely puts himself in the
presence of the Lord as often as he did, it’s easy to recognize the Holy
Spirit within. That's what you’d see in him, not just the Pope, but the
Holy Spirit dwelling in him."

The story deepens. After this unmanageable tragedy, the unthinkable
occurs. Michelle, Renée’s sister, the one who laughed with Renée as
they tumbled onto the hospital bed together, became paralyzed in a
tragic off-road accident. Michelle too, is a hero, especially to Renée.
Renée says they help each other by relating to each other’s situation.

The Longed for Vacation
“Part of my burden that most people don’t realize is one of most
disabled people. It takes close to three hours to get up in the morning.
You start your day so much later than the average person, yet have as
much to get done. There’s days where I just want a vacation from the
quadriplegia. I want to be able to jump out of bed, take a shower, get
dressed without help. If there was one thing I’d want to change,
that’d be the one thing.”

Only dreamtime sometimes sets Renée free from quadriplegia
“Sometimes I’m in the chair, then all of a sudden out of the chair
walking and running. Then back in the chair.”

Renée loves to go to God’s greatest cathedral- nature. “We’re very
blessed. We have a wheelchair-accessible motorhome It’s so nice to
camp under the beautiful trees and outdoors and not be stuck in a
hotel room. It is so healing.”

Music is life to Renée. One thing that surprised her doctors is her
lung capacity and the ability to speak and sing as strongly as she
does. With a voice that continues to inspire people around the world,
Renée has 5 CDs. “I’m really pleased when I read fan mail saying how
much my music has helped them through difficult times Music changes
the atmosphere of a home very quickly. When I feel everybody getting
crabby, I say, ‘Time to crank up the tunes. Get the music on!”

Renée believes nothing is a coincidence. She went back to teach youth
choir at her church. Counting up the students, she said “148, 149, 150.” –
the same number of students she had before her accident.
Looking up she said, “Wow. You are one detail-oriented God!”

Last spring, Renée was starting to feel burnout because of all
the traveling. “Not physically. but emotionally.” Renée and her
booking manager were driving to Renée’s performance and
discussing this. “I’d been wondering if I’m supposed to go back
into teaching because my mind goes there a lot.’ When we got
home, I listened to my voicemail. There was a message from
the music coordinator from Capistrano Unified saying ‘Renée
we have a couple job opportunities we’d love for you to consider.”
I laughed saying, ‘OK God. You got my attention.’ I’m now
teaching choir again but at that other school - Capo Valley .
Although I look better in red and black than I do gold and black,
I am now a Cougar instead of a Triton.”

Rally Round Renée was formed from parents and students of
San Clemente “Their first goal was to get me back on my feet
so to speak, and make sure that Mike and I were still able to
maintain our relationship. Their second goal was for me to be
a productive member of society again. I need for them to know
that I am back in teaching. So much of it is because of what
they did in those first few months and years of my injury.
Their goal has been reached.”

Few could go through as deep a valley as Renée and come
out with as victorious a glow as emanates from her being.
From her amazing voice comes a spirit that carries a song of hope.

I cannot possibly tell Renée’s full story or her struggle here,
or adequately describe the gift she has in her angelic voice.
You must read her own words, “The Last Dance but not the
Last Song” available at Joy’s Christian book Store. in San Juan
Capistrano or www.renéebondi.com.

You can hear Renée if you travel a few miles to the Swallow’s
Day Celebration March 18 and 19th in San Juan Capistrano.
To hear her sing “When the Swallows Come Back to Capistrano,”
go to www.heroesamongus.blogspot.com

Live Like a Hero!

Terri Marie
Award-winning author of “Be the Hero of Your Own Game”

Renée’s Life Lessons

• See the Good

“I have times where I’m sad and angry but it’s how long you
stay there that can and will become a problem. There comes
a time when you really do have to open your eyes to the good
and the beauty that still exists.
You just have to choose to look for it.”

• Use What You Can

A teacher uses much more than a voice to get across the
nuances of music. Renée couldn’t use her body, so she
learned to use her shoulders. “It wasn’t something I intentionally
planned. I used anything I had to get across to the students
what I was trying to communicate. That’s probably my
biggest frustration, that I cannot conduct the way I want to.”

• Give it All to God

Renée learned to go to God every day. “I wasn’t able to do
this the first couple of years of my injury but now, 18 years
later - I put my day at the foot of the cross and ask Jesus to
help prioritize my day. When I pray this way sincerely in the
morning. I find that I’m not only emotionally fine throughout
the day, but it’s amazing what I am able to get done.”

• Receive Graciously

Renée says that learning to receive is still difficult for her.
“I think the hardest is having to ask. I can see how eventually
the disabled or the elderly become homebound because you
just get so tired of asking for help. I know I do.”

• Balance

With her quadriplegia, Renée has additional and very
time-consuming extras to balance in her day. She
considers it a priority to balance work
and family life.

• You Always Have a CHOICE

“I don’t wake up every morning with a good attitude.
There are many days when I don’t.” When she’s in a bad
mood, Renée tells herself. “I’ve got to get out of bed, get
outside and see the clouds. See the sky and beautiful
Southern California. See the ocean. I have to see that
movement. I may want to be alone. If I have to get a lot
done then I have to bulldoze through
my depression and get done what I need to.”

• Use CPR

Renée tells teens, “Make the right Choices in your friends
and eventually who you marry. I share about Mike staying
with me. I hope that teens think ahead and make the right
choices in their relationships because you never
know when that relationship will be tested as ours was.”
“Put it to “Prayer.” Seek God’s guidance and direction in
all things.“Responsibility” in a society where nobody takes
responsibly for their actions. Teens are being raised to think
that it’s never their fault. It’s ALWAYS somebody
else’s fault when they make a mistake.
The fact of the matter is we all make mistakes.
What we do with those mistakes is what separates
the men from the boys.”

Labels: , , , , , , , , ,