Raising Little Heroes

Little Adrianna Rose is looking
forward to being raised like a hero

One of the most difficult
jobs on the planet has
to be raising caring,
successful children. We
get little training in doing
the job effectively.

Most of it is trial and
error.We do the job pretty
well on supplying their
physical needs in this country but it’s their little spirits that
need building. We need to put equal focus on building positive
traits within the child’s spirit. What if there were some guidelines
that really increase your effectiveness?

Through the years I’ve interviewed hundreds of successful
people. I often asked them what was the best advice
their parents gave them. This has given me some very
insightful answers which I’ve compiled this into a
list of traits.

Parenthood can seem overwhelming. It is an unending
responsibility. By knowing some qualities that can
help raise successful human beings makes the task
less daunting. Here are 5 strong character traits
to give your children the best chance at becoming
the hero of their own lives.


1. Tell the Truth
A mother was describing to other mothers how expensive
it was to get into a particular amusement park. In order
to pay the lower rate, the mother told her daughter Mary,
“You are twelve.” Mary, in order to obey her mother had
lie, to say she was twelve when she was not. Mary now
learns that it’s okay to deceive and cheat other people.
Children have a great sense of right and wrong. What the
mother may not realize is that an even more critical
thing is lost than the truth – trust. Will the child now
trust her mother knowing that her mother may also be
stretching the truth when she talks to Mary? The mother
is neglecting the laws of abundance, focusing on a poverty
consciousness - of not having enough without lying
or making other people pay. Poverty will, in all likelihood,
continue in her life.

Truth is the essence of integrity

2. Build a Team
I’m not talking about soccer and football, but being able
to organize and work within a team. Almost everything
that is to come in a child’s life will require a team.
A marriage is a team. Friendships are teams. There will be
teams in every career and in many social events. Most team
work is done for children. Young humans need to know how
to create teams themselves. They surely won’t do it
perfectly but they will learn. You must allow your children
the chaos of learning. They need to learn how to organize
themselves to create a project, build a tree house or do
whatever is at their level, so they can experience success
as a group. Show them how.

Teams will allow young children to succeed and build
self-es-team. Building a team that has any kind of
success will provide enormous satisfaction. The
child will learn how critical good relationships are to
having positive life experiences. At a seminar at John
Assaraf’s home, we were split into teams to put together
a puzzle. Heads of large corporations, authors, investors
and entrepreneurs were sitting down on the floor to see
who could put a puzzle together the fastest. This was a
large colorful puzzle made out of Styrofoam with only
50 to 100 pieces. Each team chose a leader. The clock
started. The team that won was lead by a mother who had
worked with her children putting puzzles together. Even
doctors and pilots were beat out by this mother who had
learned how to get children to cooperate, analyze and
make it a fun game, instead of a serious have to win
“project.” It opened everyone’s eyes.

Heroes need teams and they need to learn how to make a good team

3. Respect
Give children equal billing. Your children’s needs
are every bit as important as your own. When you
give respect to children, they will respect themselves.
A young girl was being yelled at constantly by her teacher.
It really bothered the child. One day the girl went to
her teacher and said, “Ms. ___ I don’t like it when you
yell at me. It makes me feel sad.”
The yelling stopped immediately.

The next day the teacher brought a stuffed animal for
the little girl and told her, “I really appreciated what
you told me. I had no idea I was doing that.” Since then,
the little girl has become the teachers’ favorite pupil.
That is respect. If the child didn’t have the confidence
to know that the teacher was being disrespectful and the
courage to say something about it, the teacher would
probably have continued to disrespect her. Now the
teacher is more aware of how she treats all children.

When I was filming with Olympic Champion skier, Stein
Eriksen, I asked Stein if I could film his son, Bjorn
who was then 10 years old. Stein said, “You will have
to ask Bjorn.” Stein allowed Bjorn the right and human
dignity to choose what he wanted to do.

Respect all life and you will respect your own

4. Use Your Senses
Nature enlivens the senses. The natural world expands our
sensual awareness in a way that doesn’t require extra
stimulation but provides us with an opportunity to merge
ourselves with something bigger than we are. Nature gives
us a more accurate sense of self. Nature teaches
us that we are all connected.

My father taught me about nature. He had me listen to
birds. We looked at waterfalls, trees, and autumn leaves.
I developed a deep love for nature and an awareness of
how to use my senses. When you understand your senses,
you pay better attention to what your body is telling you,
to what feels right and to what doesn’t. This prevents
all kinds of things from taking root that shouldn’t.
It helps children learn to trust themselves when they make
decisions, because they will have a good understanding of
what feels right to them inside. In addition, it helps
differentiate colors, smells, shapes and patterns. Your
child’s awareness grows stronger. Teach young ones about
nature – immerse them in it. Children need to know that
they are part of the vast outer world. It is theirs to
respect, and to learn from.

As we grow ourselves, we grow the world

5. Appreciate Beauty
Beauty is a great gift to the world. There is beauty in truth.
Beauty lies within a math problem worked out and solved.
There is beauty in the order of a clean home. There is
abundant beauty in a smile. My friend Constance Eykman
lived in Africa for 20 years and wrote about the native people.
She said, “When you smile at them, you get the whole
heart back.” Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could get our whole
heart to appear on our face?

Beauty is one of the core values of Jon Benson, author
of Fit Over Forty.
Beauty is a Platonian ethic. You don’t hate what is beautiful.
See the beauty within more and more people. When you look
at your children, practice seeing the beauty within them.
Look “into” them not at them and teach them to do the same.

Beauty is in the inherent patterns within all creation

May these traits help you to raise your children, not lower t
hem. Place these traits gently into their hearts and then
trust them. The little ones will not be perfect but they
will be much better equipped to become young heroes who will
create conditions for a much-needed kinder, safer world.
They will take that “hero journey” all through their lives and
not have to “undo” years of emotional and behavioral messes.
Their characters will be strong, courageous, bright and
fulfilled. A decent human being is going to act like a
hero when the need arises. It’s our birthright.

Parenting was the hardest, but most rewarding thing I’ve
ever done. As parents, if we can learn to raise the bar,
we will be giving our children a much better gift than
clothes, toys, or food. We will give them the right to
be themselves. We will be feeding their precious little
spirits the food of heroes. Our world needs those little
heroes like at no other time.