Lauren's Legacy

The phone rang. I’d been climbing a mountain and pulled my
cell phone from my backpack, surprised it worked up there.
It was Lauren Kelly, my interview for this month’s “Hero.”
We set up a time for the interview later that evening. I called
out to my hiking friend Lisa. She yelled back “I’m over here!”
dangling her feet off a sheer cliff like you see in those pictures
of the Grand Canyon. I knew I’d never climb that. I walked a
little closer. Then a little more. Before I knew it, I’d committed
myself. Now I was perched on a precariously steep cliff holding
on for dear life – mine! Every footstep needed 100% concentration
to make sure each rock would hold. There was no margin of error
along that unsurvivable drop-off. The focus required was
tremendous. I used every bit of positive thinking I had. I had to
refuse fear’s seductive invitation. Fear could’ve killed me. It was
one of the hardest things I’ve done. Nothing to hang onto but a prayer.

Describing that story to Lauren, I learned who Lauren Kelly was.
She said, “I know exactly the situation you were in.” Lauren had
climbed Mt. Whitney. Twice. My respect for her grew immensely.
It was one of a series of “challenges’ Lauren gave herself for her
50th birthday. Lauren set off with eight friends. “I made the
commitment. We climbed one June day. The mountain was still
snow-covered which created a lot more work. We hadn’t taken
enough food or water. The climb down was even more dangerous
because we lacked provisions. There were two ways down, both
extremely dangerous but it was an awesome experience.”

Challenges aren’t new to Lauren. She gave herself another
birthday challenge - run a marathon. “I learned I can do anything
I set my mind to. It was 9 months of training. Six people at work
said, “Let’s do a marathon.” They all backed out. I made the
commitment. I did it.”

“One training day in March, the weather was very stormy. I was
soaked to the bone. It was a very cold 17 mile run that day.” But
it conditioned Lauren for the real marathon. “A lot of people fell
out because of heat. I ran with a team. I was older than any of them
but I finished. I was ready. I remember coming across the finish line,
filled with emotion.”

Lauren’s current challenges are her call to leadership. She is
President of the Ocean Festival, an International Director for the
Toastmasters Organization, and she has a regular job as a project manager!

The popular San Clemente Ocean Festival takes a full year of
planning and commitment by 18 dedicated executive board members.
A friend invited Lauren to be on the Ocean Festival board. She
knew of Lauren’s passion for volunteering. “That was ten years ago.
They really needed structure,” Lauren said. “They didn’t have a budget.
How do you operate? How do you know if you had a successful event?
We’ve come a long way since then. It’s an important event that takes
constant teamwork throughout the year because different parts have
to come together at different times.”

“We added a surfing component three years ago and hired a paid
consultant. For 2 years in a row we weren’t making money. The
board hadn’t come up with a plan. We bought the consultant in to
discuss it. He walked in the door with the whole new plan.
Now it’s wildly successful. It was magical.”

To serve as International Director of Toastmasters
is a great honor and a great responsibility.
You don’t get there without years of dedicated service.
Lauren’s been in the San Clemente club for 20 years.
She’s been club president several times and held offices
the other years. Hundreds of people have come through the club,
increasing their speaking abilities and confidence. The club had a
few famous members walk through its doors. “When they were
teenagers, Kyle and Keith Healy wrote a book,” Lauren said. “They
knew they’d need to promote it and came to our club to improve
their speaking skills. They’ve had numerous TV and radio appearances
since.” Lauren’s reward is seeing people have fun.
She loves seeing the growth in people.

Lauren’s role as International Director is very time-consuming.
Toastmasters is currently restructuring the organization – a huge task.
Lauren‘s influence will affect the organization for years to come.
“It’s near and dear to my heart,” Her most memorable speech was
the one she prepared as International Director called, “Set an Example.”
Lauren says, “ How do we learn? By what we see around us. I’m
talking to Toastmasters but it applies to everyone.

"If we want to build leaders,
we have to be the leader we’re looking for.”

Her focus now is her children and grandchildren and caring for the
future, her top priority. Lauren tells parents, “Have a very deep love
for your kids and your grandkids. Be really present. I have a huge
commitment to my grandchildren to see that they are all they can be
in their lives. I was a different person raising my children. Today I’m
a much fuller person. My big goal other than my grandchildren is
I want to be more present.”

Last month I wrote on teammates. Lauren is both a great cheerleader
and a great leader, which is unique in the same person. The greatest
of leaders builds other leaders. Lauren’s legacy will be carried inside
people, the gift of a true leader, making a huge difference in many
people’s lives.

Always Live Like the Hero You Are!

Terri Marie
Award-winning author of “Be the Hero of Your Own Game”
www.spiritualarena.com

Lauren’s Lessons

* Believe in Yourself
Lauren learned this from her mentors. “I’ve had a hard time
getting there - believing I have all I need to live my life the
way I need to.” Yet Lauren believed she could do every
one of those challenges and she did.

* Set Good Examples
“It’s so important for us to set an example. People are watching you.
Always be aware of what you are doing, especially as leaders.
My grandchildren watch me like a hawk. I want them to have
the best life possible so I set the best example I can.
My grandchildren are so precious to me.”

* Whitney's Lesson
Lauren’s best advice? “Always travel with friends and take enough
provisions. My first climb was life changing.”
Her McKinley climb took 14 hours.

* Making Teams Work
When a team has a challenge, Lauren gets on phone. She asks
a wonderful question. “What do you see that’s different than what I see?”
Each team member has different skills and expectations of other
team members. Lauren works to help ensure expectations
between team members are realistic.

* Have Patience and Compassion for Where People Are
People are at different stages in life. Lauren says, “It’s so easy to forget
they haven’t walked the same path I have. There has to be room for that.
They don’t know all there is to know.” Cut people some slack as they
grow into their better selves.

* Give Yourself Birthday Challenges Each Year
Instead of just celebrating your birthday for one day – give yourself
a huge goal. One so big that to accomplish it will make you a better
person. I can guarantee that if you’ve never climbed a big mountain
and you do, you will change! Each year we should get better.
People like Lauren show us how.

* Admire Wisdom Immensely
Lauren admires “Those who can look at a situation, evaluate it
and do quick problem solving.” What you admire, you build in yourself.

* Be Caring
Lauren says, “I have a deep sense of respect for other people
who act caring and have a desire to help others.”

* Keep Your Commitments
“I just don’t back out,” says Lauren. It drives her to do
things that require huge commitments, but have huge payoffs.
Make a decision and never back away from it.

* Ask Questions
“I am one that asks a lot of questions if something doesn’t feel right.
If I don’t know how I can sell that to Toastmasters, I speak up.
I’m a thorn but we need to make it right.”

Teammates Matter

Using a team of “Heroes” to accomplish your goals
Terri Marie

“Oh put me in coach. I’m ready to play today.”
John Fogerty

The most exciting games we watch involve teams.
The most rewarding “life games” we play are within teams.
Do you know how to put a great team together? Do you
know how to make yourself into a valuable team member
so others want to climb on board and “play” with you?
Look around you. All great things were built by great
teams. It is a joy and a blessing to be part of such
a team, When your team is full of heroes,
the experience is unsurpassable

One such team has taught me enormous lessons. It is
AFTA’s Board, Association for the Amphitheater. I’d
like to share with you the traits of this team
that enable success.

Every Team Needs a Big Kick-Off
We got one from Alice Netzen, the grand
lady, whose love for this dream kick-started it with
her generous financial gift. It put us in the game.
You definitely want someone like Alice on your team.
Alice’s singing can bring a tear to just about any eye.
She holds pure love for our dream. Your kick-off will
be your first book-end. The 2nd will be your dream come true.

Every Team Needs a Good Cheerleader
Ann Dickson is our cheerleader.
If you need a smile, this teammate had one. If you
accomplished something, Ann was the first to email and
load you with praises. Ann and Alice gazed upon the
glorious rainbow that appeared for our first fundraiser.
That must’ve spurred them, on for they bring that
enthusiasm to every team event and practice. Ann
has a great business sense but cheer is needed
for any team in the “game.”

Every Team Needs a Good Negotiator
Dick Dickey started negotiations
with the city council and engineers. He did much of
the “groundwork” that laid a beautiful foundation
of relationships - absolutely necessary as a precursor
to any physical structure. Your team is a small circle
of a much larger circle of influencers
that you must develop.

Every Team Needs a Pinch Hitter
A non-profit team needs to have a reputable treasurer.
Enter Bill Lynam. Not only our highly
capable treasurer, but our beloved friend who steps
in to fill almost any AFTA shoes. Bill does a little
of this and a little of that, and like a magician
starts the alchemy of our dream boiling. Find and
“treasure” your pinch hitter. Especially at the start
of your venture, team members may need to fill many roles.

A Team Needs a Record Keeper
A scorekeeper tells you where you have been, what you
are going to do, and how. It’s a list of successful
steps to your goal. Prescott Cogswell
is our Secretary. Lending his calm, kind demeanor.
Prescott’s diligence and care ensured countless
requirements for a non-profit and its continual upkeep.
Prescott, our gentleman. Every team needs a few.

Teams Need a Nourisher
It sure helps to have a nourisher on our team.
Wilma Cogswell soothed our journey
with her excellent warm cups of coffee and fantastic
arrays of delectable snacks. Ask any board member.
Most of us made a dash to the refreshments before
anything else. “What agenda? There’s coffee and brownies!”
Don’t overlook how a good nourisher makes the team feel.
You’ve got to keep spirits and energy high.

Teams Grow by Connectors
Sheri and Bob Veach know the
value of connections, of knowing whom to contact.
The connections that teammates make, create a web
that holds your dream in place until it’s ready
to go out and be manifested.

Teams Need Strategy
When our team needed the strategic direction
providing clear structure, focus, and delegating ability,
Lee Van Sykle came in. Many times
it was Lee himself who did staggering amounts of work
to keep our dream from getting tackled. Lee has been
a glorious guide, pulling countless pieces of the
AFTA puzzle into our midst. The contribution of a
strategist is enormous. You absolutely must have a
strategist on your team. A strategist won’t take over,
but will take charge of your plans.

There Needs to be a Steward on Your Team
Warren Willard: Someone needs to do
the daily tasks of sticking to the dream. Like glue,
they won’t let it fall apart. By steady action, you
move your dream forward. Warren did this by working on
fundraisers, constant community awareness programs, and
countless things that need to be done to raise an
amphitheater. You need steady support and
actions by your team.

You Need a Powerhouse of Energy
Dena Van Slyke: Dena was a huge catalyst
in making the leap from dream to reality. This teammate’s
knowledge of the next critical step, lifted our team’s
dream out of its idea state to a concrete viable vision.
There must be high energy within your team members.

Dedicated Supporters Grow Your Team
Dorothy Fuller lent her persona
and her photographs, and joined the cheering section.
The bigger the cheering section the better. Due to a
stroke, Dorothy had to resign from active participation.
But even in the hospital, Dorothy wanted to make sure
we had access to her photos to sell for our fundraisers.
That’s dedication. Find people like that.
They will never let your team down.

Every Team Needs a Founder
Someone with the idea to put together the initial team.
For us that is Jerry Velasco.
What can I say about our beloved president? We all feel
immense gratitude for the bearer of our dream.
Make sure your team founder has enough courage, vision,
and passion to embrace that dream. Jerry carried his
dream over many, many miles of what must’ve seemed
like an endless road, until, one by one, we met Jerry
along the journey and we too, started carrying “The Dream.”
Jerry, you ignited the visions within us all. Make sure
you only join teams whose founders have Jerry’s kind
of passion for giving.

All Teams Need Someone to Share the Vision
Teams grow by igniting a vision within others. My contribution?
Some PR, a blog, and a website that almost killed me.
To date, probably the most help I’ve given is a little
movie my company produced to share what we “envision”
for our beloved San Clemente and its residents - “The Dream.”
You can see it on www.youtube.com. Type in “san clemente dreams.”
It will show up. See why we’re excited?

Learn to look for and appreciate the great gifts each
team member brings to the table. Your teams can give
your life great meaning and purpose.

Our team took a true hero’s journey. Your team may go
into the unknown, face giant obstacles that seem like a
never-ending journey, but before you know it, with your
own great team, you too, will have lived the dream.

Live like a hero!

Terri Marie
Award-winning author of “Be the Hero of Your Own Game”
www.spiritualarena.com

Do you have a team that accomplishes goals? Here are
tips for creating an excellent team – assuming you
have a goal that you too, are passionate about and committed to.

TEAM MATES TIPS

* Build Your Foundation on Trust
The best way to develop trust is to do what you say you’re going to do.
That way, you’ll trust yourself. Then the leap to knowing whom to trust
and how, won’t be as great.

* Develop a Cohesive Rhythm
Some team members put on the brakes. Some push on the gas pedal.
The key is knowing when to do either. When the lights are green, you
want the team to give it as much gas as possible. You must sustain the
effort, until you reach the next possibly hazardous intersection,
where some precaution and prudence is required.

* A Team Stays for the Long Haul
When you’re taking a journey it’s usually best not to get off the
train mid-trip. When things got tough or stagnated,
our team held on. Make sure your team does too.

* Every Dream Has its Hibernation Time
We made it through because of a good team and a good dream.
Both need time to form correctly and grow in a way
that will fit into its environment.

* Look for Passion
Is there equal passion among members? How real is the goal
or dream or end zone in everyone’s mind? You will hear or
see this in your teammates speech, and actions. Passion,
like cream, always rises to the surface.
It never lays hidden on the bottom.

* Accept Outside Help
While Alice Netzen is still no longer board member,
we still call on her to help. Accept help if someone can
only play on your team for a little while. They are offering a gift.
Use it wisely.

* There is a Rhythm to a Great Team
Sometimes one or two members will seem to be carrying
the load. Quite possibly, they are running toward the end
zone and making great progress. The best thing the other
teammates can do is get out of their way or keep others
away from them in order to not stagnate their progress.

* When Someone Drops the Ball, Help Them Up
Every team member will occasionally drop the ball.
Don’t dwell on it. Help them get back on their feet
and send in a good cheerleader.

* Give Team Mates Time to Develop or Use Their Gifts
Don’t give up on a team member when talents may appear
to be hidden. Talents could be dormant, just waiting for the
right circumstances to shine. If you don’t see something right
away, as long as they have the passion for “ the Dream” hold
onto them. They are jewels that just needs a little polishing
or a little time to shine. Often the right circumstances will
unfold and they will show their brilliance.

* People Contribute Talents in Different Ways
If you stop expecting teammates to contribute the way you
have in mind, they often give something even more valuable
to your team than if you controlled it. The greatest work and
good comes from lack of control, not control of lack.

* No Judging Your Team Mates
Judging is for courts. You’re on a team.